Super Awesome Dating

When does needing space turn into breaking up? That’s the theme of this weeks question. Honestly if your dating someone and they tell you they need space, or they need a “break”, it means their breaking up with you. Not sure why this is confusing to some. However, what makes this question a bit more interesting is that what if the person your seeing  just stops calling you? Yea, what if they do not officially break it off with you and just stop calling you. Here is the question:

I have been dating this guy for about  four months. We talked pretty much every day and saw each other regularly. At minimum every Friday or Saturday. We talked recently about how he likes his space. I told him that when he does not call or text me for days I don’t like it. It makes me feel insecure and I wonder what he is doing. Is that crazy? I don’t understand why it is such a big deal for him to call me for 5 minutes. I feel like I pushed him away.

Since we had our little talk on him needing space, he has completely disappeared. I have not heard from him at all. At what point do I move on? If I start dating other guys do I owe him anything? Like if I do date someone else should I tell him? I want to call him really bad, but I think it will come off as chasing him, what should I do?

The first thing you should do is read what I wrote on how to tell I a guy your seeing is your boyfriend. Men are simple and men will behave in a certain way if they have eyes for you. I’m sorry to say but it sounds like this guy is just not that into you. Read More…

Oh boy awesome hotel workout routines! I love working out, don’t you? Of course not. That’s why it has “work” in the word because that’s what it is, work. OK, maybe some of you  out their like to work out regularly and that is great. I have lots of friends that run as part of their daily routine. It is so ingrained in them that they can not start their day until they do it. Like taking a shower for the rest of us I guess. Working out does release stress, makes you sleep better, makes you look better,and give you more energy during the day. When it is said like that, why don’t more of us do it? Is it because were lazy? For some, yes I think its rooted in pure laziness, but I think for the majority of us it is because no one works 9-5, we all work 8-6. Then its time to make dinner, then its 7:30 at night and now I just want to relax. Ill work out tomorrow.

Be it at home or on the road, the key to being successful at anything you do is consistency. Do you go to the gym one time and expect to be ripped? No. Do you take one college course in accounting and expect to be a CPA. No. It takes consistent effort. That means, if your on the road and in hotels you still need to work out. Some hotels have a gym,  but then you come up with excuses. You don’t feel like changing and going down to the gym, or you forgot your gym shorts and have nothing to wear; and you just can’t wear jeans in a gym right? You don’t want to be that weird guy or gal I’m sure. Other times the place will not have a gym at all. What you need to do is take 20 minutes and work out in your hotel room. Beyond emotional fitness and financial fitness with dating; if you want to attract someone who is attractive you need to be in good shape just like they are in good shape. Fair is fair. Here is how you work out in a hotel room (this is what I do): Read More…

When I woke up this morning with my desire to share my thoughts on this site I started writing on my sexy little net-book about how to “let go” after a breakup. Obviously this is now titled let it be after a breakup. Here is why. “Let it go” implies taking a passive approach, and if your anything like me, I am never passive in love or in life. If I simply told you how to just let them go I think I would be leading you astray, since I would be telling you to perform active forgetting towards a very strong emotion. Trying to actively forget a strong emotion is impossible, you can not do it. Over time emotional intensity falls, but seriously, you can not just magically forget how you feel towards something over night, their is no ebook or 10 easy steps you can read, buy, or take. It simply takes time, so since you will not be forgetting any time soon, why pretend otherwise? Hence, lets talk about how to let it be after a breakup and NOT how to let it go since any strong emotion be it anger or love sticks in your mind for some time and you just can not forget it. Like thinking about a purple cow with  black spots. See, now I got you thinking about what a a purple cow with black spots. Sorry about that. Moving on.

Let it Be

Let it be, let it be, oh let it be. Sounds like a country song doesn’t it? Let it be will inevitably mean slightly different things to you than it does to me. Here is what it means for me. Confront your feelings, understand your feelings, and LEARN from your feelings. Let it go for me means to hide from your feelings so that you can eventually forget them. Once you forget them you have successfully let them go and you can now move on with your life. This is not usually how it works out though. Do not be delusional in a pointless goal to protect yourself from the truth. The truth hurts sometimes, but that is the only way you will improve, learn and grow. Breaking up with someone is like getting fired from a job. It is not fun, it is awkward, but it typically is for the best. Letting a broken up relationship “be” means your not trying to fix the relationship, your not trying to make it work with your ex, your not thinking about ways to win back your ex. Your trying to fix yourself, your trying to make yourself into your higher self. You do this through taking a personal inventory, something I regularly do. Ask yourself: Read More…

Be authentic in love and life and you will not only be more successful in your romantic relationships, but also in every interaction you have with other people in your life. Having authenticity means you are true to who you are:  Who you are is made up of 1) your values and 2) your core beliefs. When projecting a persona and personality, you are not attempting to trick anyone into thinking your something your not. That move which many of us fall into, will come off as fake and contrived since it is not congruent with who you are. If you strive to make changes to your values and beliefs in order to better yourself that is another matter. Like if you value intelligence, strength, confidence, sexiness, working down a path of personal development to internalize those values and to project those values is not fake and contrived, it is a genuine effort with your heart in the right place. It will eventually be authentic.

Let’s take a look at one of my college friends who fell down the fake and contrived path. Lets call him James (not his real name). James was and is a nerdy, dorky guy. He was studying accounting because he did not want to be like his dad and brother who were computer programmers (because accounting is cool and sexy? Who knows). On top of that he was also over weight much of his life. As such, life can be cruel and James was bullied and harassed up through high school. Desperately wanting to fit in, get girls, and make friends when he went off to college, he tried to “act” cool instead of just BEING cool. Read More…

Well this question came out of left field for sure, a girl wants to know if men think female UFC fighters are “hot” as she put it. Women kicking ass, with their big manly muscles and deadly close combat techniques to inflict pain on their opponent, while all going on in front of a roaring crowd of fans. Here is her question:

Everyone I know loves to watch MMA events, but I have been noticing that the female events are not as popular as the men events are. It got me thinking though, do you and other men think cage match fighting for women is hot or not? If not why?

Masculine women fighting in a cage, breaking each other bones, punching each other in the face, watching their noses bleed and them getting knocked out unconscious is not particularly a turn on for me (not big surprise), but that is just me. Maybe other guys like that sort of thing if their into sexual deviance like submission and domination, but I would bet otherwise.

Women Fighting Read More…