Super Awesome Dating

Well this question came out of left field for sure, a girl wants to know if men think female UFC fighters are “hot” as she put it. Women kicking ass, with their big manly muscles and deadly close combat techniques to inflict pain on their opponent, while all going on in front of a roaring crowd of fans. Here is her question:

Everyone I know loves to watch MMA events, but I have been noticing that the female events are not as popular as the men events are. It got me thinking though, do you and other men think cage match fighting for women is hot or not? If not why?

Masculine women fighting in a cage, breaking each other bones, punching each other in the face, watching their noses bleed and them getting knocked out unconscious is not particularly a turn on for me (not big surprise), but that is just me. Maybe other guys like that sort of thing if their into sexual deviance like submission and domination, but I would bet otherwise.

Women Fighting Read More…

Getting over your broken heart is lonely miserable business. Ive been their, you’ve been their. We’ve all been their. Well OK, not a ALL of us have been their, but definitely most of us have. This little piece of Super Awesome Dating is dedicated to all those with broken hearts right now searching the Internets for easy action steps to feel better, or worse, those who are searching the web for tips on how to win back their ex. You know, the same ex who just tore out their heart and let it burn. The pain of heartbreak feels  kind of like a heart attack does it not? Not to say I have ever experience a heart attack (I’m only in my 20’s now people) but if I did have a mild heart attack, I think I know how it would feel. What about you?

The pain of heartbreak also messes up your mind and thought process. You can’t think straight, you can’t eat right, you can’t focus at work. You lose interest in everything. It is absolutely a horrible feeling, the complete polar opposite of what love feels like: Feeling on top of the world, that your invincible, that you can do anything, that your the happiest and luckiest person in the world.  Since we all have had our heart broken at one time or another during our time here on earth it is always annoying  to hear the old saying:  “it is better to love and lose than to never love at all”. Don’t you just want to grab that guy by his shirt and shake him saying “oh really smart guy, heart attacks don’t feel like rainbows and sunshine”.

Lightning Strikes Inside my Chest and keeps me Up at Night Read More…

I have been thinking about this for some time, what if you do achieve your goals and you do end up getting everything you ever wanted? Or at least, everything you think you want, right now, at this moment in time? What if you did have the relationship you want, and the family you want, and the money you want, the travel you want, the adventure you want, the sex you want? Would you be happy and fulfilled? I have come to the conclusion that it really depends. It depends on if the goal is goal driven or if it is value driven. The difference between the two does makes all the difference in the world.

Are you Goal Driven?

Having the relationship, the sex, the money, the family, the career, all sounds nice, but why then are some people who seem to have it all so unhappy and self destructive at sometimes, while others seem to be on top of the world with having the same amount? Take me for example, since I am a great example for this. When I went off to college my goals were to have a girlfriend, have lots of sex (sorry, but lets be honest), make friends, get good grades, do an internship, and land a fantastic first job. Mission accomplished, I ordered from the universe probably the most common and generic goals possible and that’s what was delivered to me. Though seemingly I had it all: the looks, the girls, the grades, the money, the success, I was unhappy.

I had the meaningless bedroom romps, and the unfulfilling relationship with a girl who I had no business of dating, I got the good grades in a subject matter that bored me to death, ended up getting a high paying “good” first job by any standard that left me wanting more out of life. Well that backfired in my face I thought! Like I talked about in my about me page, I took a step back and asked myself, why did things happen this way? What am I doing wrong? What can I do differently to get better results? Read More…

Normally when I receive questions I take the time to write out thoughtful responses, but some answers to some questions just don’t need a 1,000 word response. These are those questions:

“When I try and watch sports with my man, he gets so impatient with me when I ask questions about the game. What is his problem? Why won’t he include me in this with him?”

Because he knows you have no interest in the game. Your not asking him those questions because you care about game, your asking him because 1) Your trying to figure out why he is more interested in that stupid game on the tv than spending time with you right now and 2) Your approaching it as something both of you both can “share”. If he likes baseball then I will learn to love baseball. That approach is nice since your heart is in the right place, but it only works if you have a genuine interest in watching baseball or whatever sport he is interested in. Also, understand that men NEED to watch the game. It is how we connect with other men. When we go out with our friends, or when we talk to the fellas at work and we are asked “so did you watch the game, what did you think about THAT play” we need to have a response. It is just something guys do, it is our way of being able to connect with other men. Talking about our feelings and relationships is not something we do with other men, we do that with the women in our lives. For guys, conversation stuff between us is about manly stuff, like working out, sports, cars, our day job etc. This is how men form relationships with other men, through having something in common that is cool: In this case, watch sports. Read More…

This question comes in from a girl dating an unemployed man. She wants to know why he plays games and does not commit to her the way she wants. If you would like to understand men better, first read what I wrote on how to understand men, then read my response to what she asked. Here is her question:

I dated this guy for about two months. He was honest about his past, but not so much about his present. I have been hurt before in my previous long term relationship so I will admit I have trust issues. I eventually got wind that he was keeping his options open and talking to other girls he previously meet and/or dated. As such I broke up with him over it.

We still spend time together though as friends. He reminds me that we are broken up, but then he gets jealous when I bring up the possibility of dating other men. I just don’t get it. He dated me, did not take our relationship seriously, points out that were broken up when we do spend time together, but then gets jealous when I talk about dating other guys.

So I asked him “whats your problem”. He told me that because he is a an unemployed man he feels he has nothing to offer me, that he needs to get his life in order before he can feel better about himself and can commit to a relationship. I told him that I am a grown woman who can take care of herself. I am not that kind of woman who needs a man to take care of her, and that if he wants to be with me he needs to take dating more seriously and treat me special, or I will just cut off all contact completely. After I said that he started telling me how much he loves me and does not want to lose me. I haven’t heard that sort of talk from him in months since we broke up officially.

So my question, is he just manipulating me by saying that he can not focus with me until he has a job? Or is he just going to waste my time again by convincing me to get back together with him (he says he loves me) again only to have him play around on the side and tell me “I told you already, I’m not ready for relationship”. Read More…