Super Awesome Dating

This is the second part of a three part series on men moving to fast sexually, women  moving too fast emotionally, how this makes dating difficult, and some solutions. First part was on men moving fast physically.

So we covered why men move fast sexually when dating. It is because of sex drive among other things, which is based upon genetics. Girls move fast as well, just not necessarily physically like men. They move fast emotionally. To explain better, Ill share two real examples from two different girl I dated who both moved way to fast emotionally. The problem with moving to fast physically or emotionally is you could potentially be missing out on a satisfying relationship. Lets get into it.

The first was a girl named Jessica. She was the best friend of my best friends girlfriend. We meet at the Christmas party my best friend throws every year. Jessica had just got back from a student exchange program in England and had lot’s of stories to tell. I know because she came on to me very strong. Men, you know when a woman your getting to know likes you because she will touch you. Not in a sexually way, but in a subtle way. Like touching your leg, holding your arm, just being close to you. Women, men like it when girls are flirtaioud and make obvious hints their interested(men will not pick up on subtle hints, and if your shy, we won’t know what you think). Jessica was doing all these things. As the party came to an end I knew she was interested in me, it was quite obvious to anyone watching; but she was a bit drunk (not falling over drunk, happy drunk) and it was time for me to go, so I was just planning on saying goodbye to everyone. As I was making my rounds and was on the way towards heading out, I said farewell to Jessica last. Thinking It would be a quick goodbye, I was a bit surprised to see her aggressive nature come out. She gave me a big hug and held onto me for about 2 minutes telling me that before I go I have to give her my number. I’m no idiot so I obliged. Many of the guys, my best friend included were a bit jealous, telling me she only did that because she was drunk. Which was non-sense, as alcohol lowers your inhibitions and its not called ”truth juice”for nothing. So, that was that. I had her number and was on my way home. We talk on the phone a few times, had some more good conversation and eventually meet up for a formal date over dinner which lasted for about 2 hours. It went great, we had the same great chemistry as before, and I was excited about the prospects of dating someone like Jessica: Attractive, educated, cultured, fun, relaxed. We kissed intensely at the end of the night and made plans for a second date.

The day of the second date came, and right from the start it was a disaster. I made plans to see a comedy show and have dinner at a place called The Funny Bone. Normally I would not recommend a comedy club EVER for a first, second or third date, BUT, I took an ex their once, had an amazing time, and wanting to impress Jessica, make her happy, and also to have a good time, I did not follow my own advice and made plans their. Now the first sighn of trouble occurred on the road . Traffic, lots of it, at 7pm on Saturday. Normally thier is not a whole lot of traffic in Connecticut at night (during the day that’s a whole different story) but tonight was typical for Connecticut, as you normally can’t get around the state in a reasonable amount of time. There was a huge unexpected accident which cased me to be late, which caused us to be late for the show at 8. Which then set the tone for the rest of the night. The awesome chemistry like we had at the first date or at the Christmas party was gone. MIA. The date did not go bad per say, but it just did not go well. After the show we had a quick bite to eat, called it quites around 10 pm (that’s a bad sign guys) and that was it. I called Jessica a few days later and instead of returning my call, she wrote on my “wall” (Facebook)

Hey hope everything is good, I’m a bit busy. Ill call you when things slow down.

Thinking back upon that I wish I had replied on her wall, “ok Jessica, had fun, but I think we better of as friends”. Instead, I moved on and she ignored me. Eventually I removed her as a friend on Facebook and moved on to the next girl. Thats just how dating is. You win some, you lose some.

The next girl who exemplifys girls moving too fast emotionally was Sonia. I meet her through an online dating site. We moved fast. We went out on two dates. The first was when we first meet in person, at a coffee shop, with the purpose just to meet in person and talk for an hour or so. It went quite well, and we ended up spending the rest of the evening with one another at the movies, then in my car. Talking about everything under the sun and forming the foundation of a relationship. The second date followed the same pattern. We meet up for dinner, spent the day together shopping and talking. Towards the evening of the second date, we got a hotel room and spent the night together. After only two dates, she was “in love”with me if you can call it that. She knows its crazy too, and hates that she fell for me so quickly. Hardly knowing me, she already has made it up in her head that I am someone she wants a relationship with.

Sonia and Jessica move too fast emotionally. They both made up their mind too quickly. In the Jessica example, she made her decision to not see me anymore to quickly. If you have an initial attraction to a man, take a genuine interest in him. Go out with him for a month before deciding if he is right or not. Two dates that last a total of 4 hours, is just not enough time. Do 4 or 5 dates, then make a decision. Jessica and myself had a fantastic first date and initial meeting, but a mediocre second date. Remember, she was attracted and interest in me. She was the aggressor. She asked me for my number, asked me to go out with her. I say take a genuine interest, ONLY if there is an attraction their. If their is no attraction, like if you meet a man off an online site and in person you are just are not attracted to him, that’s different. In the Sonia example, don’t sleep with a man that fast. It take two too tango, but a man’s sex drive make saying no to sex with an attractive girl very difficult.  Also, girls develop an emotional connection with a man she has sex with in a way a man does not. Because of this, and because men have a high sex drive. You must discern weather the man is interested in you primarily because of your sex appeal, or if he is interest in you as a person. The best way to find out, is to not have sex with him for 60 days.  If after two months, he sticks around. The you can be confident that he likes you on some level beyond your sex appeal.

So to recap:

MEN

• When a girl likes you, she will touch you:  she will put her hand on your leg, grab your arm and hold it
• When a girl likes you, she will spend time with you. She won’t give excuses, and you won’t not have to trap her with her words too have her spend time with you.
• When a girl does not like you, or has lost interest in you. She will make up excuses as to why she can not spend time with you. Call me when things slow down? What the heck does that mean? Translation: I’m not interested, and have no intention of calling you back or talking to you ever again. Just move on.
• Girls move fast emotionally. She will decide quickly,a bit too quickly, if she want to be your girlfriend, or if she wants nothing to do with you, without really knowing you.

WOMEN

• If you have an attraction to a man initially, go on a few dates with him. Even if one of the dates does not go well. Give it 4-5 dates, or about a month before making up your mind.
• If you want to be sure a man like you beyond your sex appeal. DO NOT sleep  with him untill after 60 days. If he sticks around he likes something about you. If he doesn’t, he was only interest in sex, or he was just not that into you. It goes both ways ladies.
• Don’t pressure a man to be your boyfriend after two dates. Thats too fast and you both don’t really know each other. You have to date first and get to know one another.

Next up, lets figure out some realworld solutions to solve the problem of men moving too fast physically and girls moving too fast emotionally.