Super Awesome Dating

When do you hit the ejection button to end a long term relationship? Well if your crazy in love then obviously that thought does not even occur, but perhaps it should.

Relationships in where one person does not feel as strongly as the other are not that uncommon.  Truthfully, it is one of the reasons why people break up to begin with. So how do you know if that’s the relationship you find yourself in? A long term relationship that is heading towards engagement and marriage, but secretly you may suspect your boyfriend or girlfriend of not being truly madly in love with you.Well keep reading and see if the below describes you. Also, if upon reading this you realize that your the YOUR the person that has second thoughts, that thinks to themselves time to time: “I don’t love them as much as they love me”. Kill your complatency and do yourself, and your current girlfriend/boyfriend a favor, and break it off. No sense in having two unhappy people in the long run.

Is your relationship just average? Nothing really to complain about, nothing to get excited about. Just plain old average. What is average you may be wondering? Average is this: You have fun spending time together, your family thinks your boyfriend/girlfriend is nice. You two get along for the most part, you don’t really fight, everything is just bumping along uneventfully. A 7 out of 10 lets say. So what do you do? Stay or go? Well it is a 7 out of 10 because one half is in love and the other half is not. If both sides were in love it would be a 10 out of 10, and if both were not in love, the relationship would be over. So If your the half that is NOT in love, then being in an ambivalent state is the worst:

• It’s when you realize that what you have is a blessing, but you just don’t love them like you loved others in the past.
• You feel you are are indeed lucky to have found someone who loves you, and are happy for that, but you have grown to be content with average.
• The thought of leaving and being alone again, single and looking is something scary. What  you got is alright, you know it will never be better, but it sure beats being alone!

So what happens if you develop the courage to end a long term relationship? It will in the beginning, feel like you made a mistake because inadvertently you will have feelings for the  person you just broke up with. However you will never find true love and happiness if you dont break it off. Just remember, you are holding yourself back from a truly rewarding relationship. Not an average, its ok relationship, but something really special. Your also allowing the other person you broke up with, to find someone else who can love them back just as much as they love you. Your fear of being alone and not breaking it off when you now in your heart of hearts you should, is in some sense, a bit selfish.

Good to stay, but bad to leave. This is the sentiment you will have if you feel trapped in a long term relationship. This will never become love. The problem with this sentiment often times is that your balancing the pros and con’s of a relationship, which is logical to do in regards to making a decision as to whether you should stay or leave; but love is not a math problem. Every relationship has it’s good  and bad, no relationship is perfect; but to try and out-weigh the positives over the negatives in trying to determine a matter of the heart is absurd becuase  the most important criteria being neglected. The love and happiness of both sides. Which you can not quantify. Is it really fair to keep stringing  along that other person? No. So hit that eject button, take that risk, be alone, and get your butt in gear and go find what you looking for; and let the other person find someone who loves them just as much as they have love you.

Ask yourself these questions.Instead of balancing pros and con’s you need to diagnose your relationship:

• Are you in Love? Seriously?
• Do you really want marry the other person?
• Do you really want to have children with the other person?
• If your relationship was over tomorrow, would you be thankful that it is finally over and you can move on.
• Would you cheat if the opportunity presented itself? If yes, thats a red flag for sure!
• Are your needs meet in the relationship with out too much difficulty?

By no means are these definitive questions, you should  come up with your own brutally honest questions. You know your relationship best; and don’t question wheather or not you should leave. If it is clear that you should leave, then leave; but taking some time, by yourself, to face some tough questions about your relationship, and not lying to yourself, or weighing the pros and con’s can be very helpful in your romantic life. It could even be helpful in your other non-romantic relationships.  It can be a tough adjustment back to singledom, you need to sharpen your skills again to attract a new partner, but your in a better spot of being able to find someone new as a single person, than as an attached person. Remember, that person that loves you deserves to be loved back  just as much. It is ok to date someone for a while, but if it gets to a point where  someone ends up loving you, and can view you as marriage potential, but  you do not feel the same you need to end it. Have the courage to do so,  you will both be much much happier in the long run.

photo credit: mandyxclear